The best of sadrar jokes

[atlantasia]

Santa Singh was traveling by train without a ticket. When he saw the
T.C (Banta singh) coming he thought of an excuse which he had heard
from other people, that is, ministers can travel free. So when Banta
came and asked Santa for his ticket, he said `Oye! asi minister' (I'm
a minister). Banta asked him `Oye! tusi kade Minister' (which
minister). Santa couldn't think of any minister except Mrs. Indira
Gandhi, so he said `Oy! asi Indira Gandhi'. Immediately Banta caught
Santa's feet for blessing and said `Oye! asi bauth sunya, Oye! asi
bauth padya, aaj dhek leya'(I heard a lot about you, I read a lot
about you and my luck, I saw you today).

----------------------------------------------------------------------
----------

One day, Banta goes to the clinic, and he finds his friend Santa
crying.
Banta: Santa, Why are you crying?
Santa: The doctors are going to take my blood test by cutting my
finger.
After hearing this Banta also starts crying.
Santa: Banta, why are you crying?
Banta: I'm here for urine test!

[atlantasia]

One day, Banta, along with his two friends, one being Polish and the
other being an American go to the police station to get jobs as cops.
However, they would have to answer only one question. The Polish
person goes into the room.
Detective: Who killed Jesus?
Polish: The Catholics.
Detective: Good answer. In an hour or so, we'll tell you if you got
the job.
The American goes next.
Detective: Who killed Jesus?
American: The Jews.
Detective: Good answer. In an hour or so, we'll tell you if you got
the job.
Banta is next.
Detective: Who killed Jesus?
Banta: You have to give me more time. Can I tell you tomorrow?
Detective: Sure, take as much time as you want.
Banta then goes home and he finds his wife making dinner.
Wife: How did your interview go, sweetheart.
Banta: It went very well. I'm on my very first murder case.

----------------------------------------------------------------------
----------

Santa, Banta, and one of their friends, Munnabhai, were stranded on
an uninhabited island. The only way back home was to swim 100 miles
to the next island, which was inhabited. Munnabhai was so determined
to get home that he tried to swim. He swam upto 50 miles, got tired,
and drowned. Then Banta tried. He swam upto 75 miles, but got tired
and drowned, too. Santa thought he could make it all the way, so he
started swimming. He swam 50 miles, but started getting tired, so he
swam all the way back to the island.

[atlantasia]

Logic

Santasigh decided to write the MBA exam. He could understand every
thing except for the LOGIC part. One day when he was reading, one of
his non-sardar friends came home.
Friend: Santasighji How is your MBA preparation?
SantaSingh: Every thing is fine, but I could not understand Logic.
Friend: Logic is very easy.
Santasigh: Can you give me an example, so that I can understand.
Friend: OK. Do you have fish pot in your house?
Santa: YES.
Friend: Logically, there will be water in it.
Santa: YES.
Friend: Logically, there will be fish in it.
Santa: YES.
Friend: Logically, someone will be feeding the fish.
Santa: YES.
Friend: I take a guess that your wife will be feeding the fish.
Santa: YES.
Friend: so, logically, your are married.
Santa: YES.
Friend: So, that means you are a heterosexual.
Santasigh was very glad and he understood logic. Next day he sees
Bantasingh and he was also preparing for MBA.
Santa: How is your MBA preparation?
Banta: Everything is fine except for the logic.
Santa: Oh, logic is easy.
Banta: Please, give me an example.
Santa: Do you have a fish pot in your house?
Banta: NO, I don't.
Santa: Saala HOMO!!!



----------------------------------------------------------------------
----------

One fine day a girl proposed to a sardar and the sardar denied simply
saying that in our family we marry only our relatives my mom married
my dad, my brother married my bhabhi, my uncle married my aunt and so
on. so please excuse me !!!!!


----------------------------------------------------------------------
----------



Once a sardarji receives a love letter from his beloved. Being an
illeterate he cannot read the letter. So keeping that letter for him
for weeks,months and years he thought how to read the letter. He
thought and thought and thought and this sardarji being a little
intelligent fellow finally he got an idea that he can go with that
letter to his friend and ask his friend to read that letter for him.
So he made all the plans to reach his friend. Finally he reached his
friend's house on one fine morning and he explains all the story, but
still he does not want his friend to know what that letter contains
(the letter being very personal and meant for only to the sardarji),
so again he thought and thought and thought for one week and finally
he got an idea.......So this was the situation what our GREAT FRIEND
SARDARJI was in...can u just guess what he is going to do with his
final idea....?????

(Ans): He just closes his friend's EARS while his friend is going to
read the letter so that his friend cannot hear what he is
reading.......

[atlantasia]

Santa Singh is at the railway station. He asks a man "When will
Rajdhani Express go from here?"
Man Replies 12.30.
"When will Deccan Queen go from here?"
Man Replies 11.30.
"When will Punjab Express go from here?"
Man Replies 10.30.
Santa singh goes on asking about all the trains.
Now the man gets fed up and asks whether he wants to go to punjab by
train or not.
Santa replies, "No I just want to cross the tracks!"


----------------------------------------------------------------------
----------

Once a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He had to get off on
station that came up at 4 am. He asked the guy sitting opposite him
on the train to wake him up at 4 am and gave him Rs 20 to do so. This
guy was a barber, and felt that for Rs 20 the passenger deserved more
service. So, when he fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off is
beard!

When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went
home. Reaching home he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed
when he saw the mirror. His wife said, " What's the matter?" He
replied, "The cheat on the train has taken Rs 20 from me and has
woken up someone else!!!"

[atlantasia]

High-Tech American, Japanese and Banta Singh

Three men - an American, a Japanese and Banta Singh were sitting in
the sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The American pressed
his forearm and the beep stoped. The others looked at him
questioningly. "That was my pager," he said. "I have a microchip
under the skin of my arm."

A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese lifted his palm to his
ear. When he finished he explained, "That was my mobile phone. I have
a microchip in my hand."

Banta felt decidedly low-tech but not to be outdone, decided he had
to do something just as impressive. He steped out of the sauna and
went to toilet. He returns with a piece of 'Toilet paper' hanging
from his butt. The others raised their eyebrows and said, "Wow!
What's that?" "I'm getting a fax," he explains.


----------------------------------------------------------------------
----------

Once one sardar and one pathan were traveling in one train. Sardar
was trying to open his suitcase to take out his night dress, but he
was unable to open it. Pathan came and opened the suitcase and said "
Pathan Sher ka bachcha hai" and went off .

After an hour sardar was busy in opening his lunch box, but he could
not open it. Pathan came, opened the box and said "Pathan Sher ka
bachcha hai" and went off .

After some time sardar was trying to open the door of the toilet but
he could not. Again Pathan came and opened it with one kick and
said " Pathan Sher ka bachcha hai"

This time sardar became angry he asked pathan "oye muzhe ek gal bata,
teri ma jungle gayi thi ya sher tere ghar aaya tha?" and went off


----------------------------------------------------------------------
----------

Santa Singh went to kashmir officially and called to his house over
phone.
Sardar had taken the receiver.
Santa Singh : Who is speaking?
Sardar : Servant Sir.
Santa Singh : Where is the Madam?
Sardar : She is sleeping with her husband in bedroom.
Santa Singh : What? I am her husband came to Kashmir today.
Sardar : What can I do now sir?
Santa Singh : Open the cub board, pick the Gun, shoot both of them,
come back and tell me, till then I am waiting in the line.
After some time ... there comes 2 shooting sounds ... after that ...
Sardar : Yes, I did Sir. But what can i do next Sir?
Santa Singh : Open the back door, throw both of them into the
swimming pool
Sardar : There is no swimming pool in our house Sir
Santa Singh : What...? No swimming pool?
Sardar : Yes Sir
Santa Singh : Sorry, wrong number !!!!!!!!


----------------------------------------------------------------------

[atlantasia]

Santa Singh and Banta Singh were sitting on a tree and Santa Singh
was singing a song.
After 4 songs Santa Singh hung himself upside down and started
singing again.
Banta Singh : Santa Singh, what is the matter with you? Why are you
hanging upside down?
Santa Singh : I am singing the B side.


----------------------------------------------------------------------
----------
Once Santa Singh was filling up an application form for a job. He
promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS etc. Then he
came to the column SEX. He was not sure as to what was to be filled
there. After much thought he wrote THRICE A WEEK. On seeing this in
his application form, he was told that it was wrong and what they
wanted it to be filled was either MALE or FEMALE. Again Santa thought
for a long time before coming up with an answer PREFERABLY FEMALES.


----------------------------------------------------------------------
----------

Banta Singh went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and
asked "Doctor, will I be able to read after wearing glasses?"
Yes of course," said the doctor, "why not!"
"Oh How nice it would be I have been illiterate for so long" replied
Banta with joy.

The sardarni asked his lover, Santa Singh "Santa darling, if we get
engaged will you give me a ring?" "Sure" said Santa, "what's your
phone number?"

[atlantasia]

A sardar is so stupid that: -

He puts make up on his head so he can make up his mind
He gets stabbed in a shoot out
He sends a fax with a stamp on it
He tries to drown a fish
He tries to push a bird of a cliff
He thinks socialism means partying
He trips over a cordless phone
He takes a ruler to bed to see how long it sleeps
He puts Sagittarius in the box for "sign here" o the application form
He studies for a blood test and fails
He sells the car for gas money
He misses the 44 bus and takes the 22 twice
He drives to the airport and sees a sign that said "Airport Left"
turns around and goes home
He gets locked in a furniture shop and sleeps on the floor
He calls you to get your phone number
He spends 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said
concentrate
He tells you to meet at the corner of "Walk" and "Don't Walk"
He tries to put M&M's in alphabetical order
He sits on the TV and watches the couch
He thinks that a quarterback was a refund
He gets locked in a grocery store and starves to death
He would give you change when u gave him a penny for his thoughts
They had to burn down the school to get him out of third grade
He puts "Hooked on Phonics" under education on the application form
He takes 2 hours to watch 60 minutes
He would be speechless if he spoke his mind
He thinks that Boyz II men was a day-care centre
He thinks that Meow Mix was a record for cats
He ask for a price check at the dollar store
He thinks you need a token to get on Soul train
He went home and got 16 friends when he saw the NC-17 (under 17 not
admitted)
He moved when he heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home
He thinks that Taco Bell is where you pay your phone bill.
He laughs at a joke on Saturday when he was told it on the Wednesday.

----------------------------------------------------------------------
----------

[atlantasia]

There were 4 sardars in Mumbai. They decided to start a business.They
had a lot of discussions on the type of business and finally decided
to start a hotel. They selected the best of locations and cooks and
built the hotel. The hotel was inaugrated and was awaiting its first
customer. The sardars waited and waited but nobody turned up. The
story was the same the next day. A week passed but noboby turned up.
WHY?
Bcos there was a sign at the entrance "Visitors not allowed"
After the failure of their hotel they decided to start an auto
garage. They bought the best of car servicing equipments and soon
started the garage. The 4 sardars waited that day for the first car
to arrive but no car entered their garage. They waited for one day, 2
days ,a week but no car came to their garage. WHY?
B'cos their garage was on the first floor.
After this failure they decided to fall back on the good old taxi
driving. They bought a new Premier Padmini running on CNG and began
to look for passengers. They drew past Churchgate but nobody hailed
their taxi. They went to Nariman point yet nobody hailed their taxi.
They drove to Chatrapati Shivaji Terminus, even there nobody hailed
their taxi. In desperation they kept on driving all around Mumbai but
alas no one hailed their taxi.
WHY ?
B'cos all the four sardars were sitting in the taxi.
All the 4 sardars were very disgusted with their naseeb and decided
to push their taxi into the sea at Marine Lines. They started pushing
their taxi. They pushed the whole day and were very exhausted but the
taxi did not move even an inch. They decided to rest for the night
and start the next day. The next day the story repeated itself. The
taxi just wouldnt move. They pushed for a whole week but the taxi
wouldnt budge.
WHY?
B'cos two sardarjis were pushing from front and two from behind.

----------------------------------------------------------------------
----------

[atlantasia]

A sardar had arrived early at the stadium for the first cricket game
of the series between local rival teams only to realize that he had
left his ticket at home. Not wanting to miss any of the first
inning,he went to the ticket booth and got in a long line for another
seat. After an hour's wait he was just a few feet from the booth when
a voice called out, "Hey, Balbir!"
He looked up, stepped out of line and tried to find the the person.
Then he realized he had lost his place in the line, and had to go
back to the end of the line and wait all over again. After he had
purchased his ticket, he was thirsty, so he went to buy a coke.The
line at the concession stand was also very long, but since the game
hadn't started he decided to wait.Just as he got to the window, a
voice called out "Hey, Balbir!"
Again He got out of line as he wandered looking for that person.But
no luck. He was very upset as he got back in line for his coke.
Finally, he had his coke and took his seat, eager for the game to
begin.As he waited for the first pitch, he heard the voice
calling, "Hey, Balbir!" once more
He stood up and yelled at the top of his lungs, "My name isn't
Balbir!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------
----------

Santa and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend
says, "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The
other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they
weren't mine."
His second friend says, "I think my wife is having an affair with the
plumber, the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't
mine."
Santa says, "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both
his friends look at him with utter disbelief. "No I'm serious. The
other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."

------------------------------------------------------------

[atlantasia]

Santa and a friend are sitting in a cinema. Just before the break
they see a cactus and in some distance a cowboy. During the break the
friend says to santa:"I bet the cowboy will ride into the cactus."
Santa answers: "I do not believe that."
They agree that the loser invites the winner to a bottle of wine
after the film.
It turns out that the friend wins. So after the film they drink
together the bottle of wine in a restaurant near the cinema.
Then the friend says: "I must confess that the bet was not fair. I
saw the film for the second time."
Then Santa replies: "And I saw it for the fourth time, but I did not
think that this fool rides into the cactus again."

----------------------------------------------------------------------
----------

Talking about those days when there were no mosquito repellents and
we had to spend sleepless nights. A Surd was also experiencing the
same every time he tries to sleep, one mosquito comes and disturbs
his sleep with a sound "guooonn, guooonn."
He gets very irritated. He tries to cover his ear but the problem
remains persistent. Ultimately he gets up and catches the mosquito in
his hand. He is very kind and not going for the blood shed still
wanted to take revenge.
Happy as he is now starts singing a lullaby and says "so ja machchar,
bete so ja (Go to sleep, O dear mosquito, go to sleep)" After some
time he finds the mosquito falling in to deep sleep in his hands. So
he goes near it and says "guoooonnnnn, guoooonnnnn."

----------------------------------------------------------------------