BizHat.com Joke Mail - December 2005

[admin]

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** BizHat.com Joke Mail
** December 2005
** http://jokes.bizhat.com
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==> JOKE #1 <==


The Popular Mule
----------------

A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who demanded an inspection of the place. While they were walking through the barn, the farmer's mule up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly.

At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted the folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head "Yes" and say something. Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, he would shake his head "No" and mumble a reply. Curious. The pastor later asked what that was all about.

The farmer replied, "The women would say,'What a terrible tragedy' and I would say, 'Yes it was.' The men would ask, 'You wanna sell that mule?' And I would shake my head and say, 'Can't. I'ts all booked up for the year.'


==> JOKE #2 <==

CUSTOMER CARE IN 2020
---------------------

Operator : "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your..."

Customer: "Heloo, can I order.."

Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?"

Customer: "It's eh..., hold..........on......889861356102049998-45-54610"

Operator : "OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jalan Kayu. Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is 0142662566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?"

Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir"

Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."

Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir"

Customer: "How come?"

Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"

Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"

Operator : "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it"

Customer: "How do you know for sure?"

Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes" from the National Library last week
Sir"

Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?"

Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is $49.99"

Customer: "Can I pay by! credit card?"

Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank $3,720.55 since October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir."

Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives"

Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records, you’ve reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal
today"

Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?"

Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle..."

Customer: " What!"

Operator : "According to the details in system ,you own a Scooter,...registration number 1123..."

Customer: " ????"

Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?"

Customer: "Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?"

Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic....... "

Customer: #$$^%&$@$%^

Operator : "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?"

Customer: [Faints]


==> FUNNY PICTURES <==

http://gallery.bizhat.com/showgallery.php?cat=504

How icecream made ?

http://gallery.bizhat.com/showphoto....o/6905/cat/504

Saddam and Gillette

http://gallery.bizhat.com/showphoto....o/6907/cat/504

We got mouse, whats next ?

http://gallery.bizhat.com/showphoto....o/6906/cat/504

Cockroaches getting cacer

http://gallery.bizhat.com/showphoto....o/6903/cat/504

==============================================
More Jokes From BizHat.com Forums
==============================================

Two traveling angels

http://forums.bizhat.com/viewtopic.php?t=17409

Why I Never Visit Rich People !!

http://forums.bizhat.com/viewtopic.php?t=17300

Joke Forum, Share jokes at

http://forums.bizhat.com/forum26.html

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[ftvfatboy]

pizza hut joke is very good.

i wanna a customer,i w'ld have broke the phone.

thks for including my joke too.

[indianbaba]

Thanks for the joke mail nokia. The pizza joke warns of the awaiting danger of the tremendous technological development taking place in our world. Why they are not able to know from which no he is calling? We can know that called no from a caller id now itself :lol: :lol:

[ftvfatboy]

Description: The full seri of Little Johnny Jokes including Little Mary Jokes. Download it if you want to have some fun!
Total size, mb: 1.071



Links:
http://rapidshare.de/files/9640137/L...ohnny.zip.html (Size, mb: 1.071)

[indianbaba]

first one is not working. It says file is forbidden to be shared.

[ftvfatboy]

Links:
http://rapidshare.de/files/2261429/L...Comix.rar.html (Size, mb: 4.511)

[ftvfatboy]

It was professor smith's first day at st. Johns medical college as a
faculty.

Known for his teaching excellence, he made his entry into a classroom of
1st year medical students, where he received a warm welcome from the
students, followed by their intro.

To start with, he planned to put forth a question to the class.

He said, "Well students, before we start off with today's lecture, let me
ask you a simple question on human anatomy".


He gazed across the classroom, spotted a female student Suzie, and said,
"Tell me Suzie, which part of the human body grows 10 times its original
size when excited?"


Hearing this question, Suzie's face grew pale in embarrassment, she
replied:" you should be ashamed to ask such a question to a female.
I am sorry, but I can't answer your, this question".

Thwarted by the girl's reply, professor smith rolled on his sight around
the classroom afresh, to find out if there was anyone else who could
satisfy his query.

This time he located a male student Henry, who had already raised his hand
in affirmation to answer the question, and allowed the lad to go ahead.

Henry answered: "pupil of a human eye" The professor applauded for the
boy's accurate answer; then turned back to Suzie and said:

"Look, Suzie, I am sorry but, I must tell you a couple of things:

(1) You lack knowledge

(2) you have a dirty mind and

(3) Your Expectations are too high !!!!!!!(10 times........huh......MYGOD!!)

[ftvfatboy]

A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road when all of a sudden the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field. Seeing what happened, the old farmer went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians. A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and asked the old farmer, "Were they all dead?" The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie.".